This spring, as every spring in my memory, a few things have happened. In the usual rite of spring, your humble scribe has emerged from his den and seen his shadow, which has nothing to do with how much longer winter will last, except for my noticing that perhaps the layers that were making me look a little, ahem, fluffy around February were in my skin instead of in my wardrobe. So in an effort to undo all the carbs I stuffed into my face to combat Seasonal Affective Disorder, I’m cleaning up my act: back in the gym, back to early morning runs, and working hard to eat cleaner.

18 months ago I did not think I wanted a laser rangefinder. Then I got one to review, and despite it being an entry level model, I quickly changed my tune. It only took me a few rounds to realize that a laser rangefinder is the best distance finding instrument. Sure watches and apps can get you quick and accurate distances to the front, center and middle of the green, but only a laser range finder can give you exact distances to the pin or other objects.

Anyone remember this?

I remember it, and it was nasty. Watching the highlights when they first ran back in March, I couldn’t help but notice that the sole of his driver also looked pretty damn sharp. Good looks, 410 yard bombs… I had to have one.

Of all of the companies I work with, True Linkswear is one of my favorites. I have reviewed about 8 pairs of their shoes and still have about 6 that are in and out of rotation. What has really been fun for me is to see the evolution of the brand. While you may think it is really quick and easy to design shoes, the fact is that it is a long process from sketch pad to retail shelf.

In what is known as “The Miracle of the Swallows,” every year on St. Joseph’s Day  the Cliff Swallows return to the Mission of San Juan Capistrano. Officially or not, this marks the beginning of Spring in San Juan Capistrano.

My desire to find the perfect golf bag as a product reviewer has taken a wild but pleasant turn, as we were introduced to a rather unique company based out of Arizona. TactiCool Clothing and Accessory Co has taken the very popular tactical gear industry and applied all it’s features and durability and incorporated it into one of the most unique golf bags I’ve ever seen.

The original Star Wars premiered in theaters on May 25, 1977. That’s 39 years ago next month. When it came out, my cousin and I went to see it in the theater. Four times. In a row. We made lightsabers out of the bamboo that grew in front of our grandmother’s house and bashed each other with them until they splintered, then made new ones and did it again. I’m not sure how we managed not to put each other’s eyes out, but nearly 40 years later we do, in fact, need both of the lenses in the reading glasses that we each keep close to hand (although I still say I could totally rock a monocle.)

TaylorMade has caught its fair share of heat over the years for promises such as “17 yards longer”. I guess all the jokes left a little sting because you won’t find any such claims for the new M1 and M2 drivers, yet this may be the first driver that I actually think goes farther than most.

It’s Masters week so get ready for incessant yapping about green blazers. While iconic, the Masters jacket is not exactly hip and rarely looks that good on the winners (save Adam Scott who looks good in anything… just saying). Even if you ignore the color itself, the Masters Jacket still looks like what your grandfather would wear. Still, there is not a golf fan on the planet who would not give up a right appendage to own an authentic Masters Jacket. Heck, even Masters winners can only wear the jacket for a single year while not on the Augusta National Grounds. Yup, when it comes to snooty, better than you, don’t even think about using that cell phone attitude, Billy Payne and crew are hard to match.

Watching Henrik Stenson play golf makes me think of Tinkerbell. This seems weird, considering that Henrik Stenson once stopped a charging rhino with a stern look and hits the golf ball like he caught it stealing his chickens, but if you’re a regular reader of these pages you know that I may have a point. If you’re not, please indulge me in a little free association I promise that it will all come together in the end.

When Bonobos ventured into the golf world a few years ago, I was pretty sure it would not take long for them to become a mid-sized hit. With tons of experience in the casual apparel market, a huge advertising budget, and resources for days, Maide just had too much going for it to fail.

As a kid, you quickly learn the difference between a cool shoe and a “bobo shoe”. Not endorsing this form of bullying, but the fact is advertisers have done a great job of making us brand snobs. In my case, (lucky or not), I had hippie parents who saw no reason to get name-brand kicks (smart parents) so I was keenly aware of my bobo shoe status.

You know what would be cool about being professional golfer? Yes, getting paid to play golf would be cool. Yes, playing courses that are “open to the public” in the sense that any member of the public who can fork over $500 plus caddy, tips, beverages, and foie gras at the turn can play them would be cool. Courtesy cars would be cool. Groupies would be cool (hey, golf groupies are a thing, look it up!) But you know what else would be cool about being a professional golfer, at least for a guy like me? Having people. Not in the sense of “people who need people,” but in the sense of “Hey Steve, your people sent over your outfits for the week.”

Everyone has a weak spot, mine is golf shoes (at least that is what I am willing to admit to on a public blog). Fortunately, Three Guys Golf is a great way to feed my addiction without going to the poor house. So each and every year I look forward to checking out all of the latest golf shoes to find the latest and greatest. New colors, new technology, new names, it just never gets old for me. This year’s entry from Footjoy is called the Freestyle. If you recall, last Spring I reviewed the Footjoy Hyperflex which in my opinion was totally ill-named as they were stiff as a board. Luckily, the Freestyle is a whole different story.

You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads!

— Dr. Evil